Another day of sweltering temperatures means another short school day for many students in northern Illinois. The National Weather Service predicts record-high temperatures for this time of year will be reached Tuesday, with thermometers topping out in the low- to mid-90s.
I've got their disciplinary files right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the varsity swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode.
If you do, you're part of a shrinking population that remembers Vernon Wormer, the sinister Dean of Faber College in National Lampoon's Animal House.